04: COME BACK

Dirga Point of View Andien fixed her gaze on my face before shifting her eyes to take in my entire appearance from head to toe. She forced a smile, rather than a genuine one. "So, you've had feelings for me all these years?" she inquired. Didn't I already say I loved her all along? "But you've been fine without me all along, haven't you?" she asked. "What exactly do you mean?" I began to feel bad; it appears that the end of this conversation will elicit my emotions. I attempted to quiet the rumblings in my chest and head. Although it's natural for her to doubt me, if she thinks I'm fine, she's mistaken. "Well, take a look at me!" "I am!" 'I've been watching you, baby!' I pondered. "I'm not particularly confident in myself. Especially to reopen my heart," She stated. 'Oh ok! 'Is that the reason?' I take a deep breath. Takes a deep breath, holds it in my lungs for a moment, then slowly exhale it back. Attempting to relax. 'What I said earlier seemed to have made her feel very uneasy.' 'Oh my God, I'm going to have to sew up my mouth when I get home from here.' 'That's for sure! She's acting like this must be because of my aggressive talk earlier! Bad move, Dirga!' The voices in my head are driving me insane. I tried to string sentences together in my head in order to respond to her statement as calmly as possible. "Don't be hurried... I'm willing to wait. And I'm fine with approaching you and the kids slowly so you're at ease." Andien remained silent, occasionally sipping her coffee and tracing the edge of the tumbler with her finger. "Andien... Just give us a chance... I'm so in love with you. I'm tired of keeping this feeling inside my heart alone. I want you to see it. See that I can do anything for you. See that I love you. Seeing me! Please." We remained silent. She was still staring at the tumbler she was holding. I'm sure she heard me. While I continued to stare at her. 'beeps!' My phone receives a message notification. [Nisa] Where are you? [Me] Take care of my mate. [Nisa] You owe me a story. I want to go to Starbucks, in front of this building, with my friends. We want to continue chatting for a while; we haven't seen each other for a long time. [Me] Now? [Nisa] We'll wait for you to get married again first. Of course now! [Me] Ha ha ha Ok, 10 more minutes, in the lobby. [Nisa] No need. I'm with Lisa. You'll come later. I'm already in the parking lot now. [Me] Okay "Are you going home?" Andien inquired. I turned off my phone and returned my gaze to my adored girl. "I want to go home too; it's getting late. The kids must be tired," she said again. "My sister wants to hang out with her friends first, but she has already left; I just need to pick her up," I replied. "So she's your sister, right?" Andien inquired. "Who do you think she is?" I countered. "Yeah, I noticed some similarities with you," she replied. "If you look at me, are there any sweets?" I joked and answered her laugh. Her laughter and smile continue to astound me. When I see her, my heart always warms. "Would you like to take a walk around the building?" I asked. I still want to spend some time alone with her. She nodded in agreement. We walked together in silence. I wanted to hold her hand, but instead of getting slapped, I'd better keep this hand in my trouser pocket. Even just walking together like this warms my heart so much. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Andien's question broke the silence between us. "Too many rivals," I replied, laughing. Pause for a moment before trying to explain further. "I'm not confident either; your father and mother are well-known, respected, firm, and fierce. You also don't leave the house very often. There appears to be no moment that brings us closer together. I was still labile at the time. We're still on the lookout for ourselves. I'm still having fun playing and causing trouble. To be honest, love was not my top priority at the time. I didn't want to be like my friends, who were dating for the sake of releasing puberty hormones. Furthermore, the person I love is you. But I'm always nearby; you just don't realize it. "And then, just as I was about to confess my feelings to you, I found that you no longer lived there." Andien tilted her head, smiling sweetly. She then grabbed my arm and stopped walking. In a soft voice, she inquired, "Isn't it because I'm not worthy enough? Not worthy of you?" "You are precious, Andien! We will need all night if you will listen to my story about you!" I answered. Oh my God, what happened to her? Why did she doubt her worth so much? "Oh yeah? Hmmm, next time maybe!" she said as she walked away from me. I watched her climb up the steps that bordered the garden along the side of our walk. Then, I stepped closer to her. "Be safe!" I said. "I'm wearing sneakers, it's safe," she argued. She, who was now walking on the steps, didn't appear to be much taller than me. Andien came to a halt beside one of the pillars, in the outer courtyard of one of the complex's buildings. I was directly in front of her. We stared at each other as if we didn't want to take our gazes away from each other. "There are stories that haven't even begun, let alone ended. I thought all of this... Not true, "She stated. "Then let's get started right away. Our relationship, "I asked. Andien remained silent. I'm not sure when her fingers touched my jaw, slowly stroked it, and... tears dripped from her eyes. At the time, this heart reminded me, "If you continue to remember someone even when she is not reached, she actually misses you as well." Andien laughed sadly "That's funny... Even when my life appears to be returning to zero, the only person I want to meet is someone whose face I have forgotten. The person I expect to see me is someone who has never known about my feelings. On the one hand, I'm disappointed that you never said anything to me while I was waiting. But, on the other hand, I always hope that if I can love again, can you who come?" Her voice became hoarse as the sentence she was speaking came to an end. I gently touched her arms while staring into her flooded eyes "You forgot I already told you I loved you. Then, now, and forever. Andien, I miss you too. So bad! And if there's still a chance for me to start over, I really want you to be the one." My feet stepped closer and closer to her. Her hand still caresses my jaw. We're still staring. I scrape the distance. We're getting closer. "I love you!" I said as I pressed my lips to her forehead, then to the top of her nose, then to her lips. Kiss her slowly. I want her to feel how much I love her. Andien was still deafeningly quiet. I came to a halt for a moment, pulling my face away from her, staring at her now in tears. One second, two seconds, three seconds, no slap landed on my cheek. Her hand had landed up against my shoulder. "Listen, baby! I love you. I really love you." I lowered one hand to hug her waist and the other to hold her nape, desperate to kiss her lips again. She kissed me back this time. We hugged, kissed, and sucked. Neither I nor she is asking for more. I just want to love her, atone for my sin of letting her wait, and show her that I will always be there for her. I want her to know I want her, at least for the time being, in this way. 'God, I love her so badly! Thank you for bringing her back to me.' After a while, we gave each other and enjoyed the affection, and we stopped. My hands moved, gently caressing her face as tears streamed down her cheeks. Then I smile. I tightened my grip on her waist again, my gaze fixed on her two hazel eyes. "Are we official now, baby?" I asked. Andien nodded, smiling. "I hope you are patient with me. My middle name is annoying if you want to know," she said with a laugh. I smiled seeing her. "I love you." That's all I can say. She didn't respond to my statement, but she gently touched my jaw once more. It's fine; I can wait my entire life for her to love me.