Chapter 3: Learning the Language

Clover's P.O.V ************************************ ~ Little over two years later ~ ************************************ I hate summers. Not because of the weather. Summers in Missouri are actually quite nice. I always loved them when I was a kid. I hate them now because it means no escape from this gilded cage. At least during the school year I can attend classes. Even if I have a bodyguard the whole time. It still beats being locked up in this enormous house. You'd think that being locked in a cage this big wouldn't be so bad. Declan's mansion is huge, but I'm only allowed in certain areas. And that's a recent development. For over a year after my 18th birthday, I wasn't allowed to come out of my room without permission. The maids would bring me my meals. A silent guard would come get me for school. Then I would come home and be locked in my room again. It truly wasn't that bad. More boring than anything. It beat having to be around Declan and Clara at least. Not that they were even here much. Now I'm allowed to roam pre-approved sections of the house. A guard is stationed right outside my bedroom door at all times though. He follows me like a shadow. I don't even know his name because he refuses to speak to me. So, I gave him a name. I call him Joe. It felt fitting, and it's not like he argued about it. After my 18th birthday, after I realized that this was my life now no matter what I did, I changed. The weak, sensitive girl my dad raised died that day. I killed her in order to survive this horrible place. I became completely different in a way that both irritated and pleased Declan and Clara. They were pleased because I was finally doing what they wanted. I completely threw myself into their world. I started learning the language of the rich, something I always ignored because I never thought I'd need it. I started learning the people too. And the biggest thing I learned... The rich love kissing each other's a.sses. So, I learned who the people were that Declan and Clara wanted to impress. I learned business and schmoozed big investors that Declan had been failing to dazzle. I became a favorite in the social circle my mother worked so hard to be a part of. I earned respect from people they'd both been striving to earn and never could. And they loved it. At first. But then I'd say things. Weird things. Random things. Things that would get Clara and Declan exiled and probably imprisoned if anyone took me seriously, or if I had any proof. And then I would cover it up with a laugh, or a joke, or whatever I had to do to sweep it under the rug. The looks on Clara and Declan's faces were priceless. I'd always do it publicly. Always in a setting that they couldn't control, so that they couldn't say anything at the moment. And they could never punish me for it because I was the one that saved them the explanation in the end. To all their little friends and whoever else, I just looked like the sweet daughter from Clara's first marriage. The one who grew up poor, but had learned elegance and class. The sweet girl who sometimes said quirky things, but that was okay because she remembered birthdays and kids names and whose mother was sick. It was a silly thing, but it made me feel like I had some power. Albeit only when we were in public. Any other time... I was just a bird in a cage. I had no grand plans for the future now. I had no intentions of running. I was going to do what Clara and Declan wanted. Go to school. Become what they want. Make my own money. And then... I wasn't even sure. I'm sure that Clara's already formulated a plan though. They'll either tie me to some family they already control. Or marry me off to a family they've been trying to ally with. Or maybe they'll never let me actually see any of the money that I make in the future. They'll block all my exits so that I can never ever leave this place. So, the least I can do is have a little fun at their expense from time to time. Although, I sometimes wonder what I'm doing here. Not with my slight jabs no one aside from those two evil monsters understand. But staying here. Not that I think I could ever leave, I just... Honestly, I miss my dad. More than ever before. And I'm so damn lonely. I don't know if this is the kind of life I want to live forever. Dying would be better. But then I think about my dad and the promises I made to him in his hospital bed. I promised him that I'd grow up, that I'd remember him, that I wouldn't let this tragedy take me, that I'd be happy... Being happy seems to be the one promise I can't seem to keep. My phone buzzed on the bed next to me. I picked it up, expecting some text from Clara about something I needed to do. As far as I knew, they were coming back home tomorrow. Which usually meant I had to have dinner with them and whatever family they were trying to marry me off to. Thank god none of them have seemed to work out so far. I was a little surprised to see who the text was from, honestly. L12xR: Hey babe, haven't heard from you in two whole days. Please don't tell me you're ignoring me again. I can't take it. My heart squeezed as I stared at the screen. L12xR. The boy I met in an online game I no longer play. We met in a chat room of this fantasy game I was into about a year ago. I only played because I was bored out of my mind in this house. As soon as Clara realized I could communicate with the outside world in a way they couldn't monitor, they took it away. However, L remained a friend. Well, more than a friend. At least I think so. He definitely thinks so. He refers to me as his girlfriend all the time, but... L12xR: If this is because I pressured you into meeting me... please just don't. I don't care if we don't meet yet. I want to go at your pace. Just please don't ignore me. L12xR: I can't live without you baby. Please... Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back. I keep doing this to this poor guy. Pushing him away constantly. And he's always right there, pulling me back in. I honestly don't understand why. I don't even know his real name, and he doesn't know mine either. My gaming name was 5leafclov. He's always called me luck or charm. I've always called him L. L's asked me to send pictures, video chat, see him. I've said no to all of it. I'm not even sure why. Maybe I don't want him to recognize me if he ever saw me with Clara and Declan. Not that I think he would, I just... I really just wanted a place where I was just me. It's always felt like if I showed him my face, then I'd end up telling him my name. After that, he'd convince me to meet him. And then what? I can't run away. I'm probably going to be married off one day. I don't want to drag him down or lead him on. Which is why I keep trying to push him away. But it's hard. Because I genuinely like him. A lot. We talk about everything. Well, almost everything. He doesn't know how truly horrible it is here, but he knows my mother and stepfather are not good to me. He just thinks they're insanely strict though. I want to keep it that way. It feels more normal than my actual life. It might be shi.tty of me to keep giving the guy hope, but I can't help it. I need the mental escape sometimes. L12xR: Saw this today and thought of you. Attached to the text was a picture of a painting hanging in a*****e. It was bright and colorful. It looked like an explosion of happiness. The complete opposite of my life. L12xR: I bought it. Worth every penny. One day, it'll hang in our house. I can't reply. I can't let him back in. I have to be strong this time. L deserves to have real love. Someone he can hold. Someone who has their freedom. My phone buzzed in my hand again, but this time it was from my friend Quinn. Q: Are you coming tonight? Tonight was some big event for the business department at school. They throw it every year right before the school year starts. I didn't go last year, or the year before, and I didn't plan to go this year either. I didn't even bother asking for permission. Clara would just turn it into a chance for me to mingle with high society people. I'd rather stay locked in my room. I sighed as I typed out a reply. Me: No. Sorry. Maybe next time. Q: Why not???? It's a huge event for our department. Besides, you never come out. You're always studying. Take a break! This is college! Me: Wish I could. Have a drink for me. And for the love of god, do not let Harper dance on the tables like last time. Quinn and Harper are the only friends I've ever had since living with Clara and Declan. All the people they've introduced me to over the years that were my age never went anywhere. Everyone they know is fake. All they do is talk about each other, give back-handed compliments, and give off bad energy. Never got along with any of them. I met Quinn and Harper in my first year of college. We have the same major in business marketing. We became fast friends, but I've done everything I can to keep them separated from my life. I don't want Clara and Declan to know that I have friends without rich parents. Joe is kind enough not to mention who I have lunch with at school, or maybe they just don't care about that. But I never got out with them. I always make up some excuse. They think I just have parents with high expectations that I'm trying to make proud. The older I get, the more I realize that my life is nothing but beautiful lies. All of it. This mansion, school, my friends, my secret online boyfriend. None of it is real. I'm starting to wonder if my life will ever be real.