Chapter 76: Charlotte's POV

"Are you okay?" Chrissie's voice startled me as soon as I stepped out of Lauren's room. He backed away when he saw me jump a little and I tried to give him a reassuring smile that I was okay. I don't think I'll ever get used to Christian being kind to me, treating me like a human being or going as far as asking if I'm okay. It feels strange, unnerving and bone chilling to see him look at me with kindness, concern and genuine compassion. It doesn't feel right. It feels like waiting for an enemy who's all smiles to finally show their hand and I don't like it one bit. "I'm okay, Chrissie." I quickened my steps so he wouldn't be able to place his hand on my back like he was clearly going to do. He saved me today. He saved me and my baby and without him, I might have been the one on that coroner's table instead of Angelique. I lost all my strength twoards the end while fighting her off because my blood pressure was too high. If Christian and Nigel hadn't come when they did ... I don't even want to think about what could have happened. But still, I don't see any valid reason why Christian suddenly decided to be kind to me. It makes no sense. It's too good to be true and more often than not, when something is too good to be true, then it is. Which means I can't let my guard down again. I've been a mess because I couldn't find Forest, Joshua and Jona, but now that I know they're okay, I have no excuse to keep breaking down, crying and letting my emotions control me. I may be pregnant, but I can't let this keep happening. At this rate, every enemy of mine will gain the upper hand if I keep going on like this. I need to take a deep breath and get my head on straight. "If you want to go see Lauren I won't mind." I smiled gently while we walked to the car. "I know Lauren is like a sister to you, Christian. You don't have to choose me just because you're afraid Forest will be angry. You and him both care about Lauren. I won't stand in your way or judge you for going to check up on someone you love." His eyes filled with surprise, anger and a little bit of confusion, but he didn't miss a step as we continued walking. It wasn't just the two of us. Nigel was to my left, Christian was to my right and Joshua was way infront leading the dozen security guards who were huddled around the three of us. My day started with six security guards and now all six of them are gone and have been replaced by men hand picked by Joshua himself. Joshua never told me what he did with those six men or the other eighteen men he told me were all traitors, but I get the impression he killed all of them. However, I'm not going to ask. I don't have the strength to deal with more death today after seeing Angelique's body. "Charlie", Christian grabbed my arm and made us all stop walking, "tell me you're not serious right now." The disappointment on his face deepened with each passing second. "Tell me you know that my brother and I put family above all else. Tell me you know that you're our family and I won't choose anyone or anything above family. Tell me you know that." I tried to smile and get him to let go of my arm because the people walking with us could all hear him, but he refused to let go. The truth is I don't know anything. I usually know everything. I've learned how to predict people's actions. I've learned how to find out their deepest and darkest secrets. I took what Forest taught me about the world of money and combined it with what Jona taught me about the law and used that knowledge to become who I am today. I am good at my job because I know everything. But I learned today that when it really matters, I know nothing. So I'm not going to be stupid and trust Christian. For all I know, he was secretly laughing at me when he saw me cry. He's always wanted to see my downfall, so maybe this is him initiating the first steps to finally taking me down once and for all. He could be working with Lauren. It's possible that their first plan failed and now he has to keep his cool to find another way to get me out of his life, his brother's life and his family's life. Now that I think about it, it's all too convenient. He has a friend who works in a free clinic in a not so well off neighbourhood who agreed to see me ASAP? That friend told him every scan, every note, every little detail in the medical records Dr Shetland wrote and that four other renowned obstetricians in their field double checked, were all fake? That means five doctors conspired to have me and my baby killed. It means five of the best doctors in this city all collectively decided I needed to die and I failed to see it all coming. I failed to protect my baby and Christian, a man who would probably be disgusted at the sight of any baby of mine, is the one who managed to save my child? I scoffed internally at how preposterous this all sounded. It's too good to be true. Which means it is. Christian Greyson is my enemy. I'd be stupid if I let my guard down because he saw me cry, held me, apologised and cried with me. He's putting on a show to lull me into a false sense of security. I can't fall for it. "Christian", I pried my arm out of his firm grasp, "I recognise that Lauren is also your family. I also recognise that you may deem her to be more your family than I'll ever be and that's okay. It really is. We all get to choose who matters to us and I will never stand in the way of that. Your brother told me he loves Lauren and you told me the same thing on multiple occasions. If he were here, I would have told him the same thing. I'm not trying to offend you. I'm trying to tell you that if you want to be there for her, you shouldn't stop yourself from doing so on my account." I watched as liquid gathered in his dark brown eyes and offense littered every inch of his face. If he's faking, he's laying it on thick. "I don't need to go see her." He started walking again with that deeply offended look on his face. "And for the record, Forest wouldn't want to go see her either, Charlie. I don't know what he's told you about how feels about Lauren, but I can assure you he's obsessed with you. He's so obsessed with you that to the rest of us he looks like a crazy person. He told Lauren the cruelest things I've ever heard him say to anyone while we were in that OR and I know he meant every word. He's going to end the Mitchells for what they've done to you and I'm going to help him because you're my sister, my family. Not Lauren." He started walking at a much faster pace to the car allocated for us and a group of the security personnel peeled off of us to join him. Nigel gave me a disappointed look, but surely he understood where I was coming from. I have never told Forest about the disrespect that I've had to deal with at work because of Christian. I didn't tell him about all the hurtful remarks Christian made while I helped him study or how he said he wished he could help Lauren punch me back after he passed those board exams because of my help. But I told Jona and Nigel about it all. Nigel can't look at me like that. I've made so many mistakes already. People almost got killed because of me. Joshua is all bruised because of me. Jona and Forest were captured and it's all because of me. I can't afford to make any more mistakes. The kind of mistakes I've been making are not mistakes that one of the best lawyers in this country should be making. I can't afford to trust Christian given our history and I can't let my pregnancy hormones guilt me into trusting someone who has told me in no uncertain terms that he is my enemy. Trusting Christian would be a huge mistake. "What?" I tried not to roll my eyes at the tall Italian stud. "I think your mom instincts are still on high alert and you're pushing away someone who has proven themselves to you today." He said calmly as someone opened the door for us. "That boy grabbed a woman by the throat and body slammed her against the floor, Char. He ran to your rescue. He didn't hesitate; not even for a second. He did all that while locating Joshua and culling the traitors in our midst. Maybe give him a break." I couldn't help but scowl at him as my door was closed for me. It was just the two of us in the back of the car. The partition was already up and Joshua was driving us infront. Christian joined him. I'm not sure if it's because he thought it would be too awkward to join me and Nigel in the back or if he has something to discuss with Joshua. Whatever the reason, I was actually relieved that he chose not to join us. In fact, a small part of me wished he had gotten into one of the other cars so that me, Nigel and Joshua could talk amongst the three of us. I trust Joshua unreservedly. I trust Nigel, but I don't trust Christian Greyson. "You're right." I squeezed his hand and decided to keep my concerns to myself. Nigel is big on second chances and reconciliation. Even after his parents disowned him for who he is, he still welcomed them with open arms when they decided they wanted to be a part of his life again. I'll share my concerns with Jona. He will understand why I feel the way I do. He and I understand one another. "I'll be nicer." I tried to ease the tension between us. "I promise." He gave me a bright smile and scooted next to me before wrapping his hands around me and kissing the top of my head. I tried to relax into his arms, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't stop thinking about Jona and Forest. I couldn't stop thinking about all that noise I heard in the background when I spoke to the two of them. I couldn't stop thinking about how adamant they both were that I couldn't video call them no matter how much I tried to push. I need to be with my husband right now. I need to see Jona, but I can't even call them because Joshua said we can't be the ones to call them. We might be putting them in danger. They will call us. That's what he keeps saying each time I ask if we can call them. I don't know where they'll call us from. I don't know in what condition they are. I don't know who took them. I don't know anything because I've somehow gone from a bad ass lawyer who knows everything, to a pregnant woman who knows nothing. I've never felt this useless in my entire life and instead of making myself useful, pregnant me just wants to cry and be held. "They're okay, Char." Nigel seemed to register how stiff my body was while he held me. "I spoke to Jona while you were occupied with Lauren. He assured me again that they're both fine." I stayed in his arms. I'll only believe that they're fine when they're both infront of me. "Char", he continued holding me and running his fingers through my hair, "can I ask you something?" I nodded while my head remained pressed against his chest. "Have you ever thought about coming face to face with him ever again?" He didn't need to say his name. I already knew which him he was referring to. He's never asked me about him; ever. Which can only mean one thing. He's back. "Was it him?" I felt my arms tighten around him. "Is he the one who took them? Did he hurt them?-" I tried to hold back my tears, but stupid pregnancy hormones have me crying infront of the whole damn world. "Did he tell him?" The words poured out of me in sobs. "Is that why Forest was so - Is it because he knows? He can't know. No one can know. Nigel, I won't be able to face him if he knows. I can't-" "Char", he held me tighter and made me look up at him, "he's not back." He said with urgency and distress in his voice. "Forest doesn't know anything. I promise." His face was blurred by my tears, but I could tell he was lying. He's back. I need to get out of here. I need to protect my baby. He wasn't supposed to come back when I was like this ... when I was this vulnerable. And Forest ... he'll be so ashamed of me. He'll know that I'm not strong enough to stand by his side, protect our kids, protect our family or fight off enemies. Now he knows that at the end of the day, all I am is a little girl who's scared of her parents. That's why he was so stand-offish when we spoke on the phone. Brian hurt him and now he's probably regretting being with someone who has so much more baggage than he anticipated. He knows. I let go of Nigel. I was in a moving car, but every cell in my body was screaming at me to run as fast as I could. I need to get out of here. I need to leave everything and everyone behind and run and find a place to hide where he can't hurt me and where all this shame and resentment and disgust that I feel for myself can't find me. I can't face Forest ever again now that he knows. I just can't. He'll be hurt, but he'll be okay after a while. He's always been the stronger one out of the two of us. He'll move on eventually like he did when I left the first time. He'll find a wife from a rich family, have kids and forget about me because this time I won't come back. I'm never coming back. He'll be safer if I stay out of his life. Everyone will be safer with me out of the picture. They all got hurt because of me. This way, I can protect them. Brian won't hurt them if I'm not a part of their lives. I need to get out of here. I have enough money to find a remote island and go hide there for an eternity. I'll have my baby there. I'll keep him or her safe from Brian and safe from the shame of having a mom like me. I need to go. "Stop the car." I pressed the button that allowed me to speak with Joshua on the other side of the partition. "Mrs Greyson, are you okay?" I heard his concerned voice, but he still didn't stop the damn car. "Char!" Nigel tried to hold me again, but I pushed him away with all my might. "Char, I was just asking." He said with that same distress in his voice. "I promise you he's not back! Forest doesn't know. I promise, Char. No one knows." "Joshua", I begged him through my tears, "please, I need to get out of here." The car came to a screeching halt and I immediately got out and started walking as fast as I could. I wiped as many of my tears away as I quickened my pace. I am Charlotte. There's nothing I can't do. I can start over somewhere. I can pretend to be a normal person with other people. They won't know what I truly am. I'll change my name. I'll learn whatever new language I have to speak. I've always had a knack for learning new languages. No one will find me and the people I care about will all be safe. I'm going to protect my baby from Brian, from the world, from me ... from everything that's happened to me ... from all the horrible memories I can't seem to outrun anymore ... from a battered and bruised past that will make other kids pity her or laugh at her and mock her. There's nothing I can't do on my own. I am Charlotte. I've been reinventing myself since I was nine years old. I know who to be, where to be and how to be to protect myself. I'm a chameleon. I adapt at the speed of light. I can start afresh somewhere else. I need to leave and this time I can't come back.