Chapter 63: Christian's POV

Only twice in my life have I ever seen Charlotte being anything but perfect. Growing up, she never had a hair out of place, never looked happy or sad or confused when she wasn't supposed to and never did anything that made those around her think she's anything but perfect. She always knows when to smile, when to frown, when to sneer, when to speak up and when to remain silent. Everything she does is calculated, as if someone will pounce on her if she ever stops being perfect. However, the day she told mom she dropped out of university, I saw something I never thought I'd ever see in my life - I saw the great Charlotte Ericsson come falling down like a falling star. I was certain that would be my last time seeing her and that all that potential she had would go to waste because without the Greysons she's nothing. That's what I thought, and I was wrong. My famil may have helped her, but this woman came from nothing with parents that I think actually hated her and yet, she still managed to take the world by a storm. There are people with the best parents, the best resources and receiving the absolute best support and most of those people will never be as great, as talented, as determined and as hard working as Charlotte. Nothing ever stood in her way. She always found a way out of anything and not only that, she excelled and outclassed everyone else. This woman just always had it all. Maybe that's why I couldn't stop hating her. I had tutors, a therapist, a family that adored me, teachers who were at my beck and call and yet none of them could help me. I was always fighting. I was fighting with mom, Forest, with kids at school, the tutors, the therapists, the teachers.I was even fighting with Belle. And of course, I fought with Charlie. I hated her. I hated that she got to be protected by family despite what I heard her dad had done. I hated that my brother was clearly in love with her before any of us could even comprehend what it meant to be in love like that. I hated that she had absolutely nothing and that the entire world was against her and yet she was able to look past all of that. I hated that she was able to succeed when she had nothing. And yet I, the one who had everything, could do nothing but cause trouble. I hated how she made me hate myself. She wasn't mean. She never mistreated me, but I hated her because each time I looked at her, I was reminded that I was some rich kid who still failed despite everything being stacked in my favour. But there she was, living a life that was meant to ensure her downfall, but she wasn't falling down. She never fell down. Until that day she came to see mom and told her she dropped out. It made me happy to see her that way. I knew it was wrong of me to think like that, but I couldn't help it. When it looked like I was a lost cause, Charlie was the only one who got through to me, and yet when she was at her lowest, I felt happy. I'm the scum of the earth. She tutored me when every other tutor refused to work with me. She rolled her eyes when she heard that a teacher said I had too much pent up energy and didn't know how to direct it. She didn't care for such talk. She didn't want me to sit and talk about things I genuinely felt very uncomfortable talking about like my therapist. Charlie just wanted me to work. She was in the seventh grade and I was in fourth grade when she first started spending her afternoons with me. She was a part of a bunch of clubs, but that year, she took a step back from all of them to help me. We worked. That's all we did. Something about the way she talked and explained things made it all make sense and less boring. She was unphased by my swearing or acting up and never asked me how I was feeling and never asked me to name emotions like my therapist did. She just wanted us to work. Before I knew it, that entire year had passed and I made the top of the honour roll. The next year, she started teaching me how to debate, how to be the best public speaker, how to do research, how to write essays and arguments. She started molding me the way she mold herself. After just a year, I was the president of multiple clubs, all while maintaining the top spot on the honour roll, playing football and being on the swim team. She never asked for a thank you. She never asked for anything. Everytime it seemed like I was getting distracted or slacking off, Charlie would find a way to get me back on track. I don't know what she does, but whatever it is, it makes me stop moping around and feeling for myself. When she's around, I don't wait to feel like working, I just work because it needs to be done. When she's around, I understand and can almost see the future that waits for me if I slack off. A future where I'm too embarrassed to face my friends because I chose to binge watch a series with Lauren instead of studying. A future where I never passed my board exams and disappointed my family. A future where Belle is too embarrassed to tell people we're twins because I'm just a screw up that ruins everything he touches. Charlie has a way of making me see those consequences. She has such control over her feelings and emotions that at times, I thought she wasn't human. She couldn't be human. No one who was dealt the cards she was dealt should be the way she is. So I hated her even more. By the time I was twelve, that conversation I overheard between mom and her friend no longer bothered me that much. What bothered me was that I needed the help of someone who was supposed to need my help. I had the money, the tutors, the whatever you need to be successful in life and yet the only person who could help me was someone who had non of those things. What did that say about me? Was I truly that dumb and beyond saving that I needed the help of someone who should have been focusing on the next fosterhome they were going to be placed in or whether they were going to eat that day or where to get their next hand me down clothes? Didn't that mean she was more deserving of the things I had? These questions grew louder and louder in my head and I hated her more and more each day because I couldn't look at her without hating myself. And her kindness, kindness that I never deserved, made me hate myself that much more because how dare she be so intelligent and talented and charming and also be virtuous on top of all of that? So ... I hated her. However, right now, while Charlie is on the floor, crying in my arms like I've never heard or seen before, not a single part me is happy about this or hating her. All I feel is grief for a relationship with someone who has always treated me like a brother. I'm crying with her because I'm mourning a relationship with her that could have been so happy and fulfilling ... a relationship that will probably never be because I've finally broken her and there's no taking it back. "Get off of me." I heard her cold and calm voice. I followed her instruction immediately. I have no right seeing her like this. Her tears, her emotions and her dropping her facade of perfection is not something that I am worthy of seeing. She regards me as an enemy now and I've spent my entire life treating her as such. So I shouldn't get to see Charlie cry. I really don't deserve that honour. She got up from the floor. She struggled a bit because she's pregnant after all, but she refused to accept my help and struggled on the floor for a few seconds until she got up. "You're right." She sniffled and started wiping her nose and eyes. "I'm letting my emotions cloud my judgment and there's no time for that. I'll go have my surgery." She added, now holding her usual perfect smile. "Nigel will be there with me so you don't have to worry about it, Christian. You have a good day." No. No. I can't let her go out there alone. "I'm not leaving you." Nervous words ran out of my mouth. "I've been in this type of situation at least three times, Charlie. People have tried to hurt me or Forest a number of times since you guys ..." I shook my head and decided not to finish that sentence. I shouldn't be reminding her of their break up right now. My brother had me, Lauren, mom and Belle after they broke up, but who did Charlie have? We were her only family, so who did she have? I saw her that day. She was so much more broken than him. She had more pieces to put back together and she had to do it all alone. Was someone there to make sure she went to her classes? Was someone there to stop her from drinking herself to death? Did someone remind her to bath and groom herself? Did anyone feed her? Did someone get worried about her and start fearing that she might hurt herself? We are her family, so who did those things for her? I took a deep breath and tried to bring the conversation back to what was important - me staying by her side today. "I know what to do, how to act, what to look out for, how to protect myself and the ones I love and, most importantly, I know how to disarm and kill whoever and whatever poses a threat." I tried to drive my point home, but my words seemed to fall on deaf ears. "That's okay." She held her calm smile. "Ever since we met, Forest has been teaching me how to protect myself. I also know how to act and what to say so I don't raise any suspicions when my security has been compromised. You go about your day, Christian. I've never needed you before and I will most certainly not need you on a day like today." She still held that damn perfect, calm smile. "I don't trust you." She shrugged nonchalantly. "You're someone who would like to see me hurt and if it wasn't for Forest, you and I would have most certainly been enemies. Actually," she chuckled, "you and I are already enemies, aren't we? I just refused to accept it. Instead of letting you destroy yourself, I tried to help you. I opened doors for you that other people were more deserving of. I taught you things that no one else in this world but you would have taken for granted. I treated you like a brother, Christian and not once did you deserve it. So please, on a day like this, do not make me also have to worry about the enemy that is sitting right next to me. Let me face one enemy at a time. That is all I ask of you. That's the only thing I'll ever ask of you." "I won't ask you to do something as ridiculous as stand by my side today of all days." She continued in a bitter tone. "I won't ask you to protect a woman you hate with all your heart and also protect her unborn child. I won't ask you to shield me when you and I know damn well you want to be the one charging at me. And once my baby is born, I won't ask you to come see her or hold her or pretend that you don't hate her too just because I'm her mother. I want you to stay away from me, Christian Greyson." A genuine sad smile covered her face this time. "The thought of you spitting in my child's face the way you've spat in my face is enough for me to have no remorse over killing you. You are my enemy, Christian Greyson. I believe with all my heart that you will be pointing a gun at me later today and trying to get my husband to marry Lauren after you've killed me." I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat was to dry to respond to that. What could I even say to that? Which words would convince her that I see her now. I see how kind and determined and loving she is. I see how much she hides from the world because she's realised that weak is not something she can ever afford to be. I see how disgusting my behaviour has been. I've been seeing it for a while now. I don't want to be this person anymore. I don't want to be someone who won't even be allowed to see his own niece. I don't want to be someone who is hated by someone who has always been good to them. I can't lose her. Charlotte is as much my sister as Belle is. I can't lose her. I can be better. I am better. I am a better person because of her. She always makes me better. "Hate me." I begged. "Hate me as much as you want and for as long as you want, Charlie. I deserve it and nothing I could ever say to you could ever be enough to justify you forgiving me. However," I dared to take a step closer to her, "know that you are my family, Charlie. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You've always been my family. You're my sister and I've been an appalling brother. I've been disgusting and not once did I deserve your kindness. I probably never will. But I refuse to be the miserable and hateful bastard that I've grown to be. I refuse to be someone who doesn't walk with you every step of the way. I refuse to be the uncle that no one talks to because he's just too bitter and hateful. Charlie, hate me." I begged again. "Hate me with all your heart, but please allow me to take the first step in making things up to you." The expression on her face was cold and stoic. There weren't any tears anymore. She was back to being perfect and hiding her true feelings because she views me as an enemy. "What's happening right now is something I'm familiar with." I continued when it looked like she was still unconvinced. "I know how to smoke out traitors without putting anyone in danger. I know what to look out for in seemingly innocent strangers. I know how to shoot someone while running for my life. I know everything I need to do to keep you safe because my brother and I have gone through what you're going through way too many times. With the Greyson brothers gone, Greyson Corporation would be left to the vultures. If you still think I'm lying when I tell you I will protect you with my life, then at least believe that there's nothing I won't do for my brother. He loves you so much that to the rest of us he just looks like a mad man." Her perfect and calm demeanour was starting to crack. She shifted her head to the side and covered her eyes. "Protecting the woman my brother loves and his unborn child is not something I will take lightly, Charlie." I tried to convince her. "I'm coming with you today and I will protect you. Please believe me." She turned away from me. I think she was crying, but couldn't bear letting me see her like that again. "I will rip out your heart if I find out you're lying." She whispered. "Let's go."