Chapter Five

I will find her, or I will die trying.       ~pintrest~                        Bruno The dance floor glowed with red beams; the long lights twirling from the ceiling created a relaxing atmosphere, the music blasting through the speakers shaking the whole room. I could see a woman with a snowy white wig working the pole. She flipped upside down, the strands of the wig almost touching the floor, the ankles tightly wound around the pole. She was fit, graceful, like a swan. Watching her was mesmerizing. "Want her?" Someone yelled in my ear; I turned around slowly, reluctantly moving my eyes from the woman to see who it was. "Move your damn face from my ear, " I yelled back at Jesûs; he laughed, taking a step to sit directly opposite me. "What brings you to my neck of the woods?" He asked, taking one of my Heineken beer and opening it with his teeth. I glared at him as he took the first swallow, "That was mine, " I stated the obvious, but he just shrugged and took another sip. "You still haven't answered my question?" "Which one?" I responded, and he slit-eyed me as if he didn't know or remembered he had asked me two questions. It must have hit him because he smiled wickedly and then gave me two nods. "Both, actually," Jesûs was one of the few people I like in the world. He was big with a face most women fell for, a contagious laugh, and a childish way of looking at things. He could pass for any number of respectable job positions except what he did. "No, I do not want her, " I was sure I didn't. I moved my eyes to the pole dancing to find her throwing a kiss at some sucker seated at the front. Jesûs whistled when he saw me staring again, "Are you sure? She is really good at it, too, " I smiled, or I thought I did."I'm sure she is, " I whispered, taking a cigarette from the pack on top of the table. "When did you start smoking menthol?" I shrugged again, lighting it up and then putting the lighter back into my pants pocket. "I smoke whatever I find on the shelve," I answered, childishly exhaling the smoke in his face. He feigned a cough, and I chortled at the way he menacingly glared at me. "You can be such a child sometimes, B, " "Yeah, Raph says that often. But this coming from a guy who just offered me one of his women!" "She is not one of my women!" he protested loudly enough to be heard by the people sitting at the next table. I narrowed my eyes at the blatant lie, and he lowered his eyes, gulping down the rest of his beer. "Fine, I had her once, " he grudgingly admitted, and I gave him a smirk and slit-eyed him again. "Okay, maybe it was more than once, but what is wrong with recommending a good woman?" "Nothing wrong with that, but define a good woman, something tells me your definition of it might be different from mine." Somehow, he must have found it funny because he laughed, taking another one of my beers. " Stop fleecing your customers, you son of a b***h, " I told him, yanking the bottle from his hand. He let me have it, but then he grabbed the pack of my menthols and pulled out one. It felt like we were playing a game that only boys did. Maybe father Josè was right when he said men could behave like overgrown boys. I watched him slip it in between his lips, the corner of his mouth slightly drawn into a small mocking smile, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Do you want the woman or not?" "Aah, not!" I snapped, shoving the pack of my cigarettes inside my coat jack. "Mean bastard!" I head Jesûs say, taking a long lump of the cigarette before exhaling and sending the smoke spiraling in front of his face. I ignored him and went on drinking my beer. The noise and the music held me from overthinking. " I have a new cook, by the way, " I smiled; my love for food was widely known. "Really, is she any good?" "He, " he corrected, snapping his finger at a passing waitress. "Bring my guest today's chef's special, " I could feel my stomach flipping in excitement and urgency at the mention of food—good food suddenly draining off my anxiety. "So, as we wait for your food, why are you here?" "You sound as if it's my first time here." I said, faking an outrage hoping he would leave me the hell the alone. But Jesûs was annoyingly persistent. " It's the way you look, " he said in a small voice, tapping the cigarette to shake off the ash dangling at the end. "How do I look?" I asked in earnest because I wanted to know, and somehow I was afraid to ask if he said I looked terrified, which I was, not completely, just a tad. "You look terrible." he said loudly, and I leveled a glance at him that would have sent lesser men scurrying for the exit, but Jesûs just smiled and stood his ground. And anyway, he might be right because I felt it too. "I'm following Freddie Renzi, " he threw a curious look at me, waiting for me to expound. I wouldn't have if it were any other person, but Jesûs was different, a friend, and I didn't have many of those without counting my brothers. "He has something that belongs to me, " I explained vaguely, feeling a little guilty that I would consider Ele mine. But hasn't she always been mine? "What?" Christ! Jesûs was like a dog with a bone. "None of your damn business?" I managed to say, guzzling the last of my beer to find I wasn't nearly as drunk. For the first time in years, I wished for oblivion, to stay in that state for a few hours because self-pity took a toll on my manhood. So would hiding into oblivion, a tiny irritating voice inside of me said. Fuck! I snapped, tugging at my coat to pull out another cigarette. I will probably be diagnosed with some lung problem if I keep this up, I thought as I light it up, puffing out slowly, feeling the calm that came with it. It was like a junkie getting a shot; tobacco had the same effect on me. "How could a coward like Freddie have something that belongs to you?" I shrugged, gently rubbing at the corner of my eye. "Bruno!" "I guess you won't believe me if I say money." it was more of a statement than a question. Jesûs shook his head, his eyes intently on my face. "Not the way you're smoking," "What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, glaring at him; he raised his right eyebrow, a knowing smirk on his face. "Money wouldn't stress you out like this!" he was right, of course, but I didn't admit it, so I just moved my eyes around the room, waiting for his next question. Maybe I should just get up and leave, but knowing Jesûs, he would probably stop me. "It's a woman. That is why you refused to f**k my girl!" He burst out in laughter as if he had completed a really complicated puzzle. I was about to storm out, but then I felt a whiff of food. I sat up straight, waiting for it to be placed in front of me. I leaned over to smell it as soon as the cover was taken off. "I swear someone will poison you with food," Jesûs pointed out, watching me with a curious look. " It will be an excellent way to go." I responded, taking the fork and the knife to dive into the streak. I hummed, feeling the sour and sweet taste in my mouth; it had the perfect seasoning. I thought, taking the last bite. "Wow!" I exclaimed, smiling at him. I guess I could forgive him for poking his nose in my business. "You know he has a wife?" I wasn't sure whether he was telling me or asking me. I had thought we were done with this conversation. "I'm aware, " I begrudgingly said, making a production of wiping my mouth. "And a son!" "He has what?" I asked in shock, the napkin I was holding slipping off my fingers. I felt as if someone had punched my stomach, the food I had enjoyed threatened to climb through the throat into my mouth. I felt like throwing up. I was angry and feeling destructive; two of my worst emotions. She bore him a son! How could that happen? "What is wrong?" I heard Jesûs ask. Nothing was wrong, just petty jealousy, I thought. Even as I acknowledged that part of me still felt hurt, almost the betrayal feeling didn't make sense. I have known she was married to Freddie for nearly half a decade; I mean, children were a byproduct of marriage, weren't they? But I would be lying if I said I wasn't mad. She was mine first; that should have been my son! Yet I knew I couldn't change the past, and that son was part of her. A part of Ele wouldn't and couldn't be wrong. I looked up to find Jesûs looking at me with a strange look. We stared at each other without blinking, like we had issued each other a staring challenge. This was ridiculous, I thought, yet I didn't move my eyes. "What exactly does Freddie have?" I was saved from answering by Dev who leaned over to whisper something in my ear. My eyes widened at the information before my lips spread out in a smile. I got up slowly, giving Jesûs a friendly punch that was harder than it should have. "He has two things that belong to me, " I mumbled, giving him a wave as I walked out to the welcoming city lights lighting up the darkness. Dev and I hurried to our car, which I had parked at the end of the parking lot. I had paid extra cash not to have any car packed either in front or at the back of it. The valets of such an establishment understood the rules. "He is letting her visit her parents? Is this information credible?" There was slight excitement in my voice. "Yes, " This was my chance; the other option would have been to kidnap her from the church, and father Josè wouldn't have approved of it. I wouldn't have cared, but his feelings mattered to me. I may not be a fan of the church or agree with God, but I respected that man. " I heard she has a son?" "Yes, he is almost four. Apparently, Freddie hates his guts." "I doubt very much if Freddie likes anyone other than himself. " I felt Dev looking at me as we stopped at the red lights. I watched people run across the road in the rain, some with umbrellas while others held their bags over their heads as Shields. "You know him?" " I knew him when he was a boy." I finally said. I didn't want to tell him the story of my life before I told Raph and Rom. They deserve to know first, especially Rom. There was no easy way of saying my biological father had your first child aborted, but I would say it. I drove off as the light turned green, taking a corner towards the office blocks that held a helipad. If I believed in everything father Josè preached about; then I would be concerned about the sins of the father passing from one generation to the next. But I refuse to pay for anybody's sins—I had my own to worry about. "Do you know about the sins of the father?" I asked in a small voice. Dev chuckled, giving me a playful look. "I thought you weren't religious," "Im not; I'm just curious." "It's in the old testament." he said it as if that answered my question, like I should know what the hell that meant. "So?" I queried, jumping off the jeep to get into the building. "So Jesus came and declared each of us must carry their own cross." "Oh! I thought you said you weren't brought up in a church." I retaliated with a version of what he'd said to me. "I wasn't, but father Josè makes a good orator." I laughed at that, opening the glass door that would lead us to the private elevator. " She is beautiful, " he whispered in a shy boyish tone. I kept forgetting how young he was. "Yeah."